How your feelings can help you

In my last blog about emotions at work, I wrote that there is a difference between emotions and feelings. In this blog I will zoom in on feelings: how it differs from emotions and how feelings can help you to be more successful and happier.

To recap the previous blog, emotions tell us what really touches us, because emotions are connected to your instincts. Emotions are powerful signals indicate how you feel at the moment or what you need now. In fact, emotions are the visible expression of your feelings. Examples of some basic emotions are fear, anger, joy or sadness.

Feelings invite you to take care of your desires and cannot be rationalized with your mind. E.g. you do not feel well, something tells you this is (not) OK or more in general terms it includes: irritation, disappointments, anxiety, etc. Feelings are subtle and almost infinitive.

Please see in the table hereunder some of the most important differences between feelings and emotions. The whole list is for perusal at our website (www.nextnova.eu).

One similarity between emotions and feelings is that they come in waves (be it with different frequencies).

Understanding your feelings is as important as knowing how to cope with your emotions. Why? Because they are caused by a number of events and sensations and will grow over time. Feelings tell us how to live and influence our long-term attitude towards reality.

Feelings are about ourselves. They may be less intense, but are more sustainable than emotions, which are more situation related.

To say it differently: your feelings are the only real aerial for detecting what is good or not good for you. So, listening carefully to your feelings is a must, otherwise you will miss out on the guidance of what is or isn't good for you.

And please realize that the way you behave is the result of your feelings.

This also means that you should not try to ignore them. Many people often have the tendency to hide negative feelings (like depression, worry, feeling useless) as far away as possible.

Although ignoring negative feelings is a very logical human response, you don't really get rid of those feelings. Somewhere these negative feelings remain in your body as negative energy.

And positive feelings don’t get the attention they deserve, while they can be such a great help!

It is important that we learn to accept that negative and positive feelings will always be there. That is why it is better that we learn to deal with them.

Try the following:

• First of all: recognize a feeling and try to understand that feeling. Why are you happy, content, frustrated, etc. What is this feeling trying to tell you? Is it caused by the impact of people around you, or is this just vou?

• If your feelings are positive, keep them, make them stronger and capture them as long as possible, because experiencing regularly positive feelings will lead to better health, greater resilience and more personal growth. Besides that, positive feelings make it easier to build relationships and to become more successful. Basically: you feel good.

• Pay consciously attention to positive feelings by remembering successful achievements and situations you are proud of.

• Program yourself for success. There are plenty of NLP techniques that can be used for this.

• If your feelings are negative, than do a root-cause analysis. This is a systematic process for identifying the reason for the feeling. This goes beyond getting rid of the feeling, it is finding ways to avoid these feelings in the future.

• Think long term. Keep an eye on what you want to achieve and focus on the things that go well. Keep in mind that you will accomplish a lot more in the long run than if you constantly let your negative feelings hold you back. Nobody is always happy. You have complete control over how much you allow yourself to be happy, no matter what situation you find yourself in.

• Apply appreciative inquiry, meaning that you should be proud on all your positive achievements. Make a list of all your great accomplishments and all other positive things that happened to you in life. Both private (family, diplomas, charity, crazy moments, the real estate you bought) and in business (the big orders you won, your great business ideas, the competitor you defeated, your promotions). Review it and watch what will happen to your mood.

THE GOLDEN NUGGET: Understanding and coping with feelings is not only important for yourself, but also of the people around you. It creates a better mutual understanding which makes you happier and more successful.

There is much more to tell you about feelings at work. Please contact me if you would like to get more information or would like to be coached on how to use feelings to your advantage.

Joost